In this dream I was not me, but rather I was this young, reckless private in the army or something. I remember I was running around the hanger or something trying to avoid the huge, gigantic, angry drill sergeant. The next thing I remember is I was on the deck of a battleship on top of a tank with some war buddies and we were eating baby squids for lunch. These squids had a single small white eyeball, and sometimes there was a "booguer" behind the eyeball that you had to pry out, which was like a little rock. I had been eating the squid, eyeballs and all (but no booguers/rocks) and when I got to my third one, I got a close look at its eyeball and it made me sick. I turned to someone and I was like "Man, I feel sick after looking at this eyeball and realizing I've been eating them.", and the guy tells me that everyone else is picking out the eyeball and not eating them. For some reason, this makes me really pissed that no one told me that and I half-purposely/half-accidentally fire the tank. Well no one is killed by the explosion on the ship deck, but about half of them are on fire now running around, and we're trying to put out the fire on everyone. No one was really mad at me though for some reason (I'd be pretty pissed if I was them though).
So the next scene takes place in court where I'm being charged with killing like 1/3rd of the men and severely injuring/disabling most of the others. I'm sitting in there with some lawyers and military brass and junk waiting for the judge panel to come (I don't know how a court martial works by the way). Then I spot at the front of the courtroom an Intel 8086, and I'm like WOAH! So I get real close and check it out. (After this instance, I realized my dream was taking place in the 80s. Rock on!) Then the judge panel comes in and after spending about 5 seconds staring at them as they walk towards me (and I'm still hovering over that 8086), I take off and make my way past security out of the courtroom. Of course, they give chase and there's like 50 guys all around trying to grab me. Once I step outside of the courtroom I realize that I'm in the middle of an airport (who keeps a courtroom at the airport?). So I'm running and dodging these guys, and then I jump and land on this weird patch of land.
Then this Japanese guy comes up and says (with a funny Japanese voice) "Ohhh too bad for you guys. This Japan territory so he okay now." So the guards (+ judges who are now there) realize there's nothing they can do to me now that I'm not on American soil, so they give up and walk away. Then I'm standing there kind of dumbfounded, and the Japanese guy (who's dressed in business attire) asks me to come with him and another guy on a shuttle train. There he's talking to me and propositions that I come work for some electronics company in Japan (I forgot the exact name of the company, but it was something hilarious like "Happy Fun Zoom Zoom Co."). I accept, and he gives me a plane ticket and says goodbye, then leaves his adjunct to take care of me.
The adjunct only knows Japanese (and is female) and she's talking to me in Japanese (I love it when I dream in Japanese by the way). She keeps telling me ああ、君はめちゃく河合ね！ (Aah, you're such a cutie!) And I reply 私？あまりかわいくないよ。(Me? I'm not that cute.) And I also noticed that my grammar was wrong in the last sentence and correct myself ええ、かわくない。She giggles and then after getting past security, we board the plane. Then I go on to be the main driving force behind why Japan is the leader in electronics in the world today.
I can imagine the reaction on your face as you are reading this. O_o Yes, I have very weird dreams (on my scale this probably ranks 6 or 7 out of 10 on my weirdness scale). Ever since I had this near-fatal accident when I was 14, which left me with permanent brain damage, my dreams are incredibly real and often remembered very vividly. In fact, the above dream was kind of a transition from another weird ass dream (which I don't remember as well) where I was a sports player or something, and I remember there was a donkey and like water polo or something. I dunno, but I think it was even weirder than my above dream. Anyway, hope you enjoyed hearing about my dream (people usually do). :) I'll post more interesting dreams as they come to me.