Saturday, October 15, 2005

Don't let the man get you down!

So from the sessions with my counselor, we've figured out that my fundamental problem is that I'm really burned out right now. The reason this happened was because since January, I've been pushed harder and harder by my superiors (my boss at work, my advisor, the professor I TA for, and even myself) and I'm getting handed around between them with no rest at all. All of them are very... pushy and try to wring out every drop of productivity that they can from me, and my mind and my spirit are just drained to the core. I keep working hard thinking "okay, get through this and I'll have a nice hard-earned break", but it never happens! Literally the second I become free of some responsibility, I am approached by someone else who wants me to work on a new project. For example, a couple weeks ago I got a call from a former co-worker at Freescale during my TA office hours (yeah, I know its weird), and the guy asked if I was busy (and I was really busy that day since half the class was in the lab), so I said yes, and he said "Okay, well we want you to come work for us part-time starting in December".

December. December. DECEMBER!? Finals don't even END for me until like the 17th of December, and they want me to hop right back to work? For the love of GOD, can I have a vacation PLEASE!?!? I mean seriously, I'm a human being not a robot! I suppose its nice to be wanted (and to be paid), but still man. I have important things I want to accomplish in my life and if I keep getting worked like this forever, I'm just going to be more and more miserable. Well there's more to the story, but I don't want to get into the details. Coincidentally, I found a series of three articles that talk about job burnout and the symptoms they describe in there fit me perfectly. They had a 25-question test in the second article to evaluate if you're burned out and between a 25-125 score range, I ranked a 92 (which means I'm pretty well burnt-out). In fact, my score would be more like 100 but two questions didn't apply to me (increase in alcohol/drug use and increase in TV viewing, neither of which I do). So at least I know what's wrong with me now, I just have to find a way to get out of it.

Anyway, I'm still running with the UT Marathon Team and things are going pretty well, but I have a shin splint in my left leg that's been holding me back. I HATE shin splints! :( I'm doing everything I can to treat it, but its not something that's easy to fix. I also decided to start using my blog as a mileage log, so here's what I did this week.

Mon 6.5 miles, fast pace
Tues 7.1 miles, slow pace
Wed 5.5 miles, slow pace
Thur 1 mile warm-up + track workout: 1600-1200-800-400 ladder
Fri (rest)
Sat 11.8 miles, slow pace
Sun (rest)
Week Total: 34.4 miles

Hmm, seems kind of weak to me. I thought I got in more milage than that. Oh well. After that long-ass run today I took a long-ass nap and I pretty much slept the rest of the day away. :P Long runs on Saturday mornings feel so good to me though. It's hard to explain, but that's what I've done ever since I was 15.

Anyway, I need to crack down and get some work done tonight. I'll make an effort to post more frequently rather than these sporadic long ass posts, but no guarantees. :P Oh yeah note to self: next time I'll talk about why I'm thinking of changing majors. ;)


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